“We have no right to ask when a sorrow comes, ‘Why did this happen to me?’ unless we ask the same question for every joy that comes our way.”

~Author Unknown

Food for Thought: Be Appreciative, Period!

Today is an excellent day to grow. Yesterday put me in a state of reflection, something I tend to do when I am deep in contemplating my next move. Being in the network marketing industry for years, I truly realize that I am in business for myself, not by myself. However, how do I begin to develop an organization that will positively impact the company I also represent? How do I educate people about their misconceptions about this illustrious sector, without being type casted as another “MLM salesperson”? More importantly, how do I change my posture in order to build a team of professionals who trust in my leadership and experience? The reason why I hadn’t so-called “made it”, is because my purpose wasn’t deep enough… until this morning.

I was going to fill the car up, as I normally do in the beginning of the work week. I was listening to a motivational CD that addressed the need to define you “why” as an entrepreneur, and it hit me like nothing before. I mean, I’ve always said I wanted to be free, provide for my family, retire early, etc.: the standard industry “whys”. Today, it hit me from the perspective that for the first time in a long time, I simply do not want to die without knowing that the people I care for are taken care for. My mother passed away in January of this

"It is impossible to see the angel unless you first have a notion of it." ~James Hillman

year, and I thought of the fact that she didn’t plan for it. My father doesn’t have the means to pay for my youngest sister’s college tuition because he was dependent on his retirement savings (notice I didn’t say investments). Most of my relatives also have not simply failed enough to demonstrate an alternative to mediocre existences; it’s not that they’re not good people with god intentions, but playing it safe has only gotten them hope. Hope doesn’t keep your house from being foreclosed on though.

In my brief moment of clarity, I was moved in knowing that I DO have options that my elders and colleagues don’t. I have a purpose to align my company with the right tools that will create a better reality than what most people think. At one point, I would have considered my unemployed for reasons other than my own; I now know that I am unemployable- that is, I am willing to sacrifice for the purpose of my passion. For instance, I don’t have to look for handouts for I am accountable for the operation of MY business! I honestly feel it’s ordained for men and women to do so. Otherwise, why have faith?

The legacy my elders and ancestors (to include my mother, my friend) left for me and my loved ones, is what I am most appreciative about network marketing. It’s funny that I am writing this and Otis Redding’s “Change Gone Come” is playing in a sample. I can appreciate the positive and negative aspects of my business because I continue to develop the intrinsic traits that will make me a better husband, father, educator, and role model. To those people who do not believe that I am making it (aka the “Crabs”), I say “thank you”. It is that which fuels my ambitions to where I will be going, which is the Top!

May You Realize Your True Potential,

Phillip L Lyde

Benu Wellness™

“Life is for living, not living up tight” – Jay-Z – Young Forever

Have you ever noticed that the more you grow, the more people try to limit your growth? In business, there is a saying (or running joke, if you will) that you are the total sum of the 10 closest people you associate yourself with. It doesn’t matter who they are, just know that-period! If you have ever wondered why you’re not receiving those things in life you desire, take an honest look at who you are modeling. These “role models” come in all forms and walks of life: your parents, family members, community leaders, colleagues, bosses, and even your spouses.

On the other hand, because they care so much for you, they will squelch your dreams if you let them. Also known as “dream stealers”, it is not because they don’t want you to succeed (they have good intentions), they want to protect you from disappointment. As misery loves company, so does complacency.

By being accountable to your Self, you can possibly change those things in order to become more productive toward your goals; however, if it were truly that easy, why are most people still miserable? Better yet, why do most people think that mediocrity should be an acceptable form of behavior as adults? It wasn’t acceptable when we were younger, so what’s the difference now?

NOTHING!

The fact still remains: “faith without works is dead” (James 2:17, KJV). Faith is the initial belief that there are no guarantees in life; children (as well as adults who are mentally incompetent) are dependent on others to provide everything because they lack the necessary self-confidence and esteem to develop solutions to their problems.

For example, think about math class when you were in school. Remember what it was like to have to complete the equation or word problem step-by-step. How did it make you feel once you realize that you could do it? How did it make you feel if you had to go

“I’d rather die enormous than live dormant.”

back over the steps in order to find another way of solving it? Whether you succeeded or failed was a matter of perception; it was the journey itself that was most important. Looking ahead, by doing something different than what you’re used to, you will be ahead of the majority of people looking to get by on life.

You don’t have to change your core values or character traits that are inherently you; you may, however, disassociate yourself with those people or things that you feel limit your potential to being the best you can be. By limiting the access to your resources (i.e. time, money, experience), you can begin your focus on reinventing yourself for the better. As your self-esteem and posture develop, you can slowly permit some of those forces back on your terms.

The responsibility later falls on the others, as your evolution does not depend on their acceptance. Those who see your elevation and buy into change in a positive way will inevitably become affected in similar ways; everyone else? Well, they conveniently will remove themselves from the equation of the relationship, which is also fine. Just know that you cannot save people if they don’t want to be saved (is that why religion considers salvation “personal”?). Last, there’s also another saying: if you can’t change the people around you, change the people around you!

“Dreams are like stars…you may never touch them, but if you follow them they will lead you to your destiny.”

Have you ever thought, “Is this all life has to offer”? I mean, have you really thought of it? What did you think?

With the debt crisis looming, how does this affect your way of life? If you have a family, how does it affect their well-being? If you think you have job security, how confident are you in having others decide your fate? If you’re unemployed or struggling to make ends meet, what needs to change in order to begin to realize the life you deserve? Or, what needs to happen in order

for you to make the necessary changes in your situation?

It is said that “all that is in the Universe emanates from the same source, and the same laws, principles, and characteristics apply to each unit, or combination of units of activity, as each manifests its own phenomena upon its own plane” (Three Initiates, 1912, p. 113). This figurative expression can also be viewed from the literal, as we (as men and women) are capable of shaping our destinies without regard to some selection process or discrimination; opportunity is just that- a chance to succeed or fail according to how we determine to do so.

CLICK HERE TO SEE WHAT YOU’RE WORTH

I’ve been involved in small business and sales to some degree almost all of my life. It started when I was in elementary school in the 80’s looking at the back cover of Boys Life magazines (I know I’m dating myself here). I obviously saw that there were incentives such as cash & prizes that I was attracted to, that I had to have. I saw that most people at the time were already using the products (greeting cards) that I had to sell for my prizes. I also realized subconsciously that nothing could stop me (as I wasn’t able to explain my confidence at the time) from getting those prizes in the catalogue. I wasn’t concerned then about rejection or any of the obstacles I’ve experienced as an adult; all I knew was that I wanted something, and I was going to earn it!

I was even excited just to get a response in the mail after I sent out the postage card. When I saw I had mail, I figured I would go out there and get my prize J The only thing, however, is that at the time, I didn’t have any tools or leadership to help me obtain my goal. In fact, I don’t think I receive as much as some correspondence seeing how I was doing during my brief tenure in direct sales- LOL! It was exciting to simply go door to door, seeing how many people I could get to support my cause. I don’t remember

Direct Sales in 2011? I dunno...

if I was able to get whatever it was I wanted at the time, but thinking back, I can tell you that I really enjoyed that moment…

If you’ve had a similar experience, how did it make you feel? Since that taste of success, what has changed? Many of our passions as children seem to be eroded by the time we become adults. Why? Have we gotten so complacent in our quest for material possessions that we forgot how to view things “through the eyes of a child”? Are we so distracted with the daily grind that we miss what it’s like to not worry about those small occurrences? In moments where we finally decide to slow things down a bit, how has our world changed, and are we a part of it?

If you have children, or know of children in your community, you can definitely learn from them. They usually do not worry about mistakes until some outside force plants that seed. Often times, it is us; because we love and care for them, we want to protect them from failure or being hurt, which is counterproductive to their growth. Even as adults, people justify the idea that he or she cannot “afford” to become successful, yet it was obvious in their youth (i.e. remember pretending to be your favorite superhero or role model?). The point is you can have whatever you desire if you choose to; remembering how certain you were as a child can perhaps get you there faster than what you are doing right now.

To Your Success Always,

Phillip L Lyde

Be Excellent, Never Underachieve

“Focus is controlled by questions!”

~Tony Robbins

The desire to succeed is important to most people; however, it is the perception that success gives that outweighs the initial excitement about the want. If you [as a network marketing professional] were to meet someone today, and they asked you about what it is you do, what would you say? For instance, the majority of network marketers do not see any real form of material success within the first couple of months to years in their business. They do, on the other hand, experience the spiritual and mental growth that comes with compounded activity; that is, establishing his or her goals for success, communicating with their sponsor, understanding the products and services that come along with the initial distributor’s fee, etc. Many newbies (and seasoned veterans) fall into the trap of focusing their energies and resources in the wrong places in order to “shortcut the system”. Why?

This is why uplines and sponsors have to be clear with their potential teammates about the learning curve of their opportunity. Simply bragging about someone else’s hard work and drive is not conducive to ensuring that that new person duplicates the same level of productivity (success is the result) that can be attained. From the standpoint of effective communication, both sides have to ask the right questions to see if the relationship is worth pursuing further. This cuts down the expense of someone being excited for the wrong reasons, only to quit or assume the system is a “pyramid scheme” because they lacked the initial tools to be more productive in their business.

One of the points Motivational Speaker Tony Robbins states is that “success leaves clues.” If someone in direct sales, MLM, or network marketing, or any other endeavor wants to become the best that they can be, understand that by asking the right questions at the right time, you’ll receive the answers you’re looking for, period! This isn’t any “secret”, but a sacrifice of your insecurities so that you can change for the better.

For example, your most successful people in your business opportunity have gone through it, what makes you any different? You have a college degree? You’ve tried this before? You’ve never had to ask people for permission for anything before? That’s awesome! Then again, how has that worked for you if you’re not one of the top income earners in your business? In order for you to expect change, you must change.

I recently found out that asking the right questions isn’t a hard process; it’s a matter of knowing when and where to ask them. The one question that should be asked more often is “WHY”. This is known as an open-ended question that eventually gets to the source of the other person’s thought process. The distributor can ask the prospect all he or she wants about their goals, how much money they’d like to make, how soon they see themselves getting started, etc.; while the prospect can ask how much money the distributor has made so far (as if that really matters), which celebrities also endorse the products or services they are looking at, so on and so on… the point is if the “why” isn’t clear, the sacrifice for getting there will not happen!

The need to understand and process the “why” of any potential business opportunity has to be personal and intimate enough in order to do whatever it takes to persevere during those times where one is tempted to going back to their former state of mediocrity. As a wellness coach, I know that although everyone may need what I offer, everyone does not want what I have to offer, point blank period! We [as people] are habitually needy in terms of wanting instant gratification. There’s nothing wrong with that, unless it proves to be detrimental to our way of life. Understanding that gives me the determination to continue asking the right questions to those who want and need my products and services. It makes my job easier by simply providing what they want more conveniently to their goals, as they may differ from mine.

So, if you consider yourself a professional, you should be doing the same. There’s nothing more annoying than a so-called business owner being inconsiderate to the needs of his or her consumers. Remember, these are the people you

 

"Success leaves clues!" ~Tony Robbins

want to promote your business once they realize how good you are. Focusing on how you phrase your queries to potential business associates and customers is essential to your success, but why you continue to do it is up to you!

See You At The Top!

Phillip L Lyde

Benu Wellness™

“Be Excellent, Never Underachieve”  

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“Titles of honor are like the impressions on coins, which add no value to gold or silver, but only render brass current.”

~Laurence Sterne

Whenever someone begins their personal development in network marketing, one of the first traits that they may exhibit is what’s known as “ignorance on fire”. This is when a person or newbie (if you will) is so excited about their opportunity that they tell everyone who’s within an earshot how much they should join right away. Now, this is not totally a bad thing; however, the problem becomes when you’re one of those distributors (as I was in my former life) who doesn’t know enough about providing value to your products and services, in order to not to be annoying. Because the potential for success is often overinflated (by your so-called Upline nonetheless) as being “easy” or “not really work”, the newbie is disillusioned into thinking that all he or she has to do is pay a distributor’s fee, and the company’s website will do all of the work for them… THEN REALITY HITS YOU LIKE A TWO-PIECE!!!

You can tell if someone who is “ignorant on fire”, as they sometimes:

• Introduce themselves to you by saying something like: “Hey, I just joined this awesome company…” and proceed to sell you on their excitement, not what your needs, desires, or wants are. They probably didn’t know (or care) enough to ask those things.
• They take on the “build it, and they’ll come” stance, meaning
• They are overly-positive about not being successful, as they are only mimicking other people’s success in the business. At what point should they stop “faking it until they make it”, and just do it! (thanks Nike®)
• They do not read or educate themselves on any marketing, business, or any other professional or personal development resources in order to better themselves as potential leaders. * In fact, many businesses like yours have the same 80/20 split. This is where 20 percent of the organization will typically create 80 percent of its success. It is a simple dynamic of economics; the question is which side of the equation do you want to be on?

For instance, if you’re an amicable person like me, then your focus is perhaps on establishing positive relationships in spite of the temptation for instant gratification. I am not one who likes when people try to impress me with their material possessions or their Upline’s success. By stating that the CEO has X number of G-6s, or that your Upline’s upline has now making six-figures after three years, what does that really do for me and my family? That won’t keep my lights on next month if I join, and it sure won’t make you any better a leader in your business. It also does not make your Upline any better a mentor to his downline, who is the backbone of his or her success (sometimes they forget so quickly). Everyone has a story to tell, so why not be forthright in yours?

In order to impress others with your “next big thing”, realize that it is what it is: people will eventually join you simply because of your honesty with them. The millions your company uses for advertising and promotion can do the selling; YOU have to persuade people to buy or join YOU! You don’t have to pose as anyone you’re not. But by doing so, you may soon find yourself struggling longer than you expected, losing motivation, and creating pessimism through your team. I don’t know about you, but as a business owner, I simply cannot afford to waste time, energy, and resources on unproductive activities…

Regardless of your MLM or network marketing business, it is still a business, which means you have to look at it as a legitimate business, not some “fly-by-night” program. You MUST put in the time, preparation, and resources, to expect the type of true success that convinced you to join in the first place. Whatever your reason for joining your business opportunity, remember: it’s not called an opportunity for nothing! Opportunities themselves are intangible; however, they change into empires or operations whenever you decide to put yourself into the process.

You can either take advantage of it or not. Either way, someone’s going to be successful; it might as well be YOU!

© Phillip L Lyde ™ 2011. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED.

(This is actually a revision of a blog I had written November 9, 2

"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no help at all." Dale Carnegie

011) Enjoy!

About a year and a half ago, separating from my wife was a serious thought. In fact, we both agreed we were not where we should be at this point in our lives, considering separation as a necessary evil. In the past, we’ve planned, researched, fought, argued, cussed, prayed, filed bankruptcy, sent our children to live with relatives, etc.; you name it, we’ve tried it. Not only to catch up, but get ahead for once; after all, we’re good people also! Living in an “at-will” state, the stresses of living hand-to-mouth had already begun to take its toll on our personal and professional lives. Out of either selfish pride or economic convenience, we continued to try “this” one more time, only to return to our previous moments of dysfunction. It seemed as though the definition of insanity was a fact of matter, at least according to our understanding. Eventually, we had to make a difficult decision, whether we wanted to or not, for the sake of our family and ourselves.

Like some of you reading this, failure seems to accompany people whenever one person in the household believes in his or her commitment to XYZ opportunity, whereas the other may not be as supportive. You may have even heard some of the things like: “Why haven’t you made any money yet? It’s been two months!”, or better yet, “I don’t see you doing anything. Why are you doing this?” I like this one: “When are you going to handle your business?” Usually, the whys of investing time, energy, and one’s resources are the same; however, they sometimes seem to overshadow the immediate needs of paying the mortgage, monthly childcare costs, or even keeping groceries in the refrigerator, as the boys are steadily growing faster than you make at your J-O-B.

The importance of falling so far from grace is significant, as the need to determine your purpose resonates now more than ever. So what’s stopping you, me, or anyone else for that matter? Fear definitely, but to what degree? Is it some childhood trauma or self-esteem issues that hinder your greatness from being shown? Are your associations and relationships keeping you from being the person you desire to be? Do you simply think it’s a matter of fate or consequence- only a select few deserve success, whereas the rest of us are destined for mediocrity or failure? Personally, it is all of that AND none of it (depending on who you ask).

So, what is your purpose for your network marketing business, besides to make loads of money for you and your family? Have you considered the spiritual, mental, or emotional effects instead of just the physical? In acknowledging your fear, whether perceived or actual, have you developed a plan of action that will take you over the threshold toward your success? For you to take charge over your business NOW, you must put into practice an educational system that focuses on your strengths as a person.

People don’t buy products or services; they buy the relationship that comes with it. For instance, in my personal experience, my greatest successes have come from the ability to relate to others. People saw me as a credible resource to their needs, and were willing to pay for it despite price. I am also confident that once you find which traits are most valuable to your business, the rapport you develop with your consumer base will create the type of lifestyle you deserve.

In your networking business or opportunity, can you see a difference in what you are doing now versus what you should be doing for the sake of your success? For instance, if you have not identified your purpose for doing it, then chances are you’re moments of glory will be short-lived, if at all. If you don’t have an intrinsic reason for wanting to do your business, you do not distinguish yourself from the legions of networkers who think all they have to do is pay a distributor’s fee and Voilà, they are making six figures in 90 days. And I can bet almost any amount of money that if your purpose doesn’t motivate you to seek solutions to other people’s problems, then your products or services will constantly be trumped by a cheaper, bigger, and faster program.